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Adam Sandler

Joining The Cult

  comedy  humor  funny  alternative  rock
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Текст песни Adam Sandler - Joining The Cult

Adam Sandler - Joining The Cult слова песни


[Sounds of Basketball being shot around]
[Sandler:] "Hey man, I`m joining a religious cult."
[Allen:] "Now, that`s ridiculous."
[Sandler:] "Well, I`m joining it, so you gotta sign up too."
[Allen:] "What are you talking about?"
[Sandler:] "Hey, don`t fuck me on this, man, just sign up."
[Allen:] "No, I`m not going to join a cult!"
[Sandler:] "I can`t believe you`re pulling this shit on me after
Monday night --"
[Allen:] "What?
[Sandler:] "-- I wanted to watch Monday Night Football
and you wanted to watch that other show and we watched your show --
I did that for you!"
[Allen:] "Yeah, well, you kept flippin` back to the game."
[Sandler:] "I WANTED TO SEE THE FUCKIN` SCORE!
Whadda you gotta do that`s so fucking importnat you can`t join
the religious cult with me?"
[Allen:] "Well, I was gonna go sunbathing."
[Sandler:] "Oh, boy, no no, I don`t think you should do that.
Because this guy, Russell -- he`s the leader-guy of the cult --"
[Allen:] "-- yeah --"
[Sandler:] "-- he was rambling on during one of the speeches
about the sun being bad, like the beast can`t come out
because the sun`s too bright and the sun hurts his eyes or something --
you show up all sunburned and that guy`s gonna get pissed at you and me!"
[Allen:] "Well, I`m not in the cult, so I don`t have to worry
about pissing the leader guy off!"
[Sandler:] "Look, I`m -- starting to believe in some of the stuff
the cult guy`s been saying --
some of it makes a lot of sense!
[Allen:] "Well, good, but I don`t want to join the cult.
We can still hang out; I just won`t be in it with you."
[Sandler:] "The point is, I`m not gonna have time to hang out
with you because I`m gonna be fuckin` busy with this fuckin`
cult!"
[Allen:] "So I`ll visit on weekends -- we`ll work it out."
[Sandler:] "No, the weekends are like the busiest time --
that`s when we go to flea malls and fuckin` malls and talk people
into joining, man!"
[Allen:] "Can I join for just a little while?
I told my dad I`d go visit him in Florida in three weeks."
[Sandler:] "Well, just, we`ll ask then, but we gotta join now."
[Allen:] "What`s the hurry?"
[Sandler:] "There`s a girl I wanna meet there, what the fuck`s
your problem?"
[Allen:] "Well, I mean I don`t really have to believe in this stuff, do I?"
[Sandler:] "No, no, just fuckin` tell everybody you believe in
this shit -- when they say the sun sucks, go,
"Yeah, fuck the sun, I fuckin` hate it too, long live the fuckin` beast."
[Allen:] "I don`t know, man. This is crazy."
[Sandler:] "Look, they`re gonna give you clothers, a free haircut,
you`re gonna get food --"
[Allen:] "-- it`s not gonna be one of those weird haircuts, is it?"
[Sandler:] "It`s gonna be a haircut, all right?
You said you need a haircut, they`re gonna fuckin` cut your hair.
You`re going in, saving twelve bucks, just fuckin` do it!"
[Allen:] "Do you think the hot girl has a friend for me?"
[Sandler:] "Yeah, sure, and if she doesn`t, she`ll go out and
recruit one for you!"
[Allen:] "Well, all right. But, hey, if I don`t like it, I`m
going to escape, man."
[Sandler:] "OK, that`s up to you."

[Three weeks later!]

[Chanting repeatedly] "The night time is the right time!
The night time is the right time!"
[Sandler:] "Hey buddy, are you glad you did this?"
[Allen:] "Oh, this is the best thing I ever did. Thank you."
[Sandler:] "You`re not mad at them making you, uh, kill your
father, are you?"
[Allen:] "You know, it`s like they said. It was the only way to save him."
[Sandler:] "You`re a good guy."
[Allen:] "You`re a better one."
[Chanting resumes]

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