Текст песни Benefit - If I Owned a Midget
Benefit - If I Owned a Midget слова песни
(intro)I picked up this midget you know he`s very very well dressedItalian suit good looking with a beautiful tall blondIs it a- a lady midgetNo the guy was a midget the blond was a ladyOh the- I get itThose midgets are funny hahaha Sometimes I`d like to hold a midgetI mean they`re funnyThey always wanna sit in the front seat- Word(verse 1)Life`s got me madBut if I had a midget I`d be gladTo watch him jump around on my nintendo powerpadHe`d have a big head short legs and long torsoThe name that I give my pet midget is little GordoI`d teach him tricks like backflips and side kicksWhen company came over he`d perform and get tipsWhile I`m eatin at night, in the kitchen he`d be ableTo get the food scraps that I threw under the tableIf my midget was ever mad and acted enragedThen I`d take him to the bathroom and put him in his cageBut If he kept acting up and really made me sickI`d hang him upside down and poke him with a stickLittle Gordo would be good most of the time thoughHe`d like to wear a helmet and run around yelling KaiyoI`d take him for walks in the park on the weekendsAnd if he saw other midgets he`d say Can we be friendsHe`d only need a 3 foot coffin when he was deadAnd he`d be in the guiness book for the world`s biggest headWhat a funny little fellow, but don`t call him a shrimpOr he`ll attack your leg cause Gordos a tough gimpHe`d have a pogo ball that he`d bounce on for hoursAnd dirty little fathead Gordo would`nt take showersWhen Halloween came, he wouldn`t be a chumpGettin all the candy goin round as a tree stump(scratching/chorus)Midget is a midgetMidget Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-MidgetMidget is a midgetHey you guys- WordMidget is a midgetMidget Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-MidgetMidget (wo-wo-wo-wo-word) is a midgetLike a midget in a urinal, I was gonna have to stay on my toes(verse 2)Sometimes my friends would chase Gordo with a gunIt be funBecause midgets wobble when they runThey`re so close to the ground and so easy to kickThey`re so slow in the head and so easy to trickGordo could do somersaults his special thingAt the fair I would make him enter mudwrestlingSometimes he`d wear stilts and pretend to be tallThen I`d kick him over- and then i`d laugh at him fallSilly little Gordo, just be yourselfI`d put wood on his head, and he`d just be a shelfHe`d do funny little dances but that`s irrelevantAt the beach Gordo got attacked by pelicansHe had a girlfriend once, but she was an ogreIt didn`t last long cause he couldn`t fuck her soberGordo had a problem, Gordo wet the bedso i`d make him wear diapers on his ass and his headHe`d have to clean up his own cage himselfAnd if he lost a little weight he`d be a keebler elfHe`d really be something, my mangled little munchkinPlus his head would be larger then any big pumpkinThis perfect little fool would make a perfect footstoolSometimes I`d kick him in his head and say "bitch be cool"I`d have a great life, I`d be happy I knowIf I only owned a little pet midget named Gordo(scratching/chorus)