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Cledus T. Judd

First Redneck On The Internet

  country  comedy  modern country  parody  contemporary country
665 3 часа назад

Текст песни Cledus T. Judd - First Redneck On The Internet

Cledus T. Judd - First Redneck On The Internet слова песни




(James Beavers/Steven Beavers/Barry Poole)Well, Lordy, mercy, I`s in a mess, My wife run off with my TV set,Didn`t bother me none that she had to go,`Cept I`s gonna miss all my TV shows. So I looked up to heaven, got down on my knees.An` I cried: "Dear Lord, will you help me, please.""I need a TV by tomorrow night,"`Cos Rick Flare`s involved in a talent fight."Well I guess my tytheing finally paid off,`Cos early next mornin` shoulda seen what I saw.Reached in my overhorse for my inhaler,`Cos there`s a big brown box there, right in my trailer.I used my truck keys, cut open the box,I was hopin` for a Sony or a Microbox.I looked at the name and thought: "Oh my gosh!"This must be a new one called Macintosh."Well my last TV was a whole lot wider,But this`n here come with its own typewriter.It had all the letters from A to Z,I guess you just type in what you wanna see.Well I thought I punched up: "You Done Help,"But the TV Screen said World Wide Web.Then I broke out in a cold, cold sweat:I`s the first redneck on the internet.He was the first red neck on the internet,A bona fide, countrified, cyber-threat.He went on line just one time,And now they won`t forget,The first redneck on the internet.It was all so new, I shoulda taken my time,But I slammed that mouse up in four-wheel drive.Last time I did so much pointin` and clickin`I had a .22 rifle shootin` at chickens.Then, all of a sudden it occurred to me,The power I had with this fancy TV.I could get back at my ex-wife,With the touch of a button, I could ruin her life.So I got the number off her Mastercard,I bought a new lift kit and four new tyres.Then, I got on line to her bank account,Went ahead and closed that sucker out.I had her power and her water shut, slap, off.The I sent an e-mail to her dead plain boss,Lettin` him know that she told me,She`d have his job by the end of the week.He was the first red neck on the internet,A bona fide, countrified, cyber-threat.He went on line just one time,And now they`ll never forget, (Won`t forget.)The first redneck on the internet.Now the moral of the story, as a matter of fact,In a couple of days I got my TV back.She said she`d like to come back, as well.I told her to go straight to AOL.Now, thank the Lord that the UPS,For droppin` that box at Cledus` address.If they ever wanna find him, it won`t take long,Type www.cledus.comTo reach the first red neck on the internet,A bona fide, countrified, cyber-threat.He went on line just one time,And now they`ll never forget, (Won`t forget.)He was the first red neck on the internet.The first red neck on the internet. Hey Buck, p`preciate your help. You ARE the man.World Wide Web, population Four Zillion. Cy hoot

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