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Connolly Billy

Tell Laura I Love Her

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Текст песни Connolly Billy - Tell Laura I Love Her

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Billy Connolly: Tell Laura I Love Her-------------------------------------(from the LP "The Pick of Billy Connolly")TELL LAURA I LOVE HER!TELL LAURA I NEED HER!TELL LAURA NOT TO CRYMY LOVE FOR HER WILL NEVER DIE.Ladies and gentlemen, I want to tell you,Oh yes, Laura and I were lovers for a long time ladies and gentlemen`Til God took her away for a special purpose of his very own.I must admit I was a bit cheesed off at the time.I had a special purpose in mind myself.But there you go.Oh, sure, we`d lovers tiffs like anybody else.Like the time, in a moment of weakness, I sunkand I bought a dirty magazine.And in that magazine, ladies and gentlemen,I read about erogenous zones.In a very sly way, ladies and gentlemen,I invited Laura over to my place, ostensibly for coffee and cookies.And we were sitting on the sofa,and we were necking, ladies and gentlemen, necking.And I guess I must have touched one of her erogenous zones,ladies and gentlemen,Because she kneed me in one of mine.TELL LAURA I LOVE HER!TELL LAURA I NEED HER!TELL LAURA NOT TO CRYMY LOVE FOR HERWILL NEVER DIE.Oh ladies and gentlemen, I can`t tell you,How could I ever forgetthat day God took Laura away for a special purpose of his own.We were downtown shopping for Laura`s mum.She wanted some rubber bedclothes and an inflatable man.Strange woman Laura`s mum.But anyhow, we were walking hand in hand down Main StreetWhen a child ran onto the road, ladies and gentlemen.I said "Oh my God, my nerves!" and I covered my eyesI guess I`m that kind of guy.But Laura, who was made of stronger stuff than I,dashed onto the road to save that child.Ladies and gentlemen, I wanna tell you,the child made it to the other sideand turned round and said "Eee eu eee-e eh-eu"but Laura didn`t.She made it to the white line in the centre of the road,ladies and gentlemen,when a juggernaut came around the corner sideways and flattened her.TELL LAURA I LOVE HER!TELL LAURA I NEED HER!(I blame myself, I blame myself)TELL LAURA NOT TO CRYMY LOVE FOR HERWILL NEVER DIE.Oh ladies and gentlemen, how can I tell you,Some nights I lie awake, awash with sweat,as I hear the exact noise those lorries made when they flattened LauraIt was a sorta "SPLAT"You know the noise you getWhen you stick a straw up a frogs bum and blow really hardI blame myselfI wanna tell you, ladies and gentlemenMain Street was not a pretty sightThere was bits of Laura everywhereI remember, two bits were sliding down the post office windowAnd a big Alsatian came around the cornerand made off with another couple of bitsAnd it was with a heavy heartAnd a tear in either eyeI searched, and I searchedbut I couldn`t find the bit I was looking for!TELL LAURA I LOVE HER!TELL LAURA I NEED HER!TELL LAURA NOT TO CRYMY LOVE FOR HERWILL NEVER DIE.

Другие песни Connolly Billy:

Connolly Billy - Tell Laura I Love Her
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