Текст песни Frank Zappa - Billy The Mountain
Frank Zappa - Billy The Mountain слова песни
Mark volman (lead vocals)Howard kaylan (lead vocals)Ian underwood (woodwinds, keyboards, vocals)Aynsley dunbar (drums)Don preston (keyboards, mini-moog)Jim pons (bass, vocals)Billy the mountainBilly the mountainA regular picturesquePostcardy mountainResiding between lovelyRosamond and gormanWith his stunning wife ethelA tree, a tree.Billy was a mountainEthel was a tree growing off of his shoulderBilly was a mountainBilly was a mountainEthel was a tree growing off of his shoulderEthel was a tree growing off of his shoulder( hey, hey, hey! )Billy had two bigCaves for eyesWith a cliff for a jawThat would go up or downAnd whenever it didHed puff out some dustAnd hack up a boulder, hack.Hack up a boulder, hack, hack.Hack up a boulder, hack, hack.Hack up a boulder.Now, one day, and I believe it was on tuesday, a man in checkered double-knit suit drove up in large el dorado cadillac leased from bob spreene ( "where the freeways meet in downey!" )He laid a huge bulging envelope right at the corner of billy the mountain, that was right where his foot was supposed to be. now billy the mountain, he couldnt believe it: all those postcards hOsed for, for all of those years, and finally, now at last, his royalties! "royalties, royalties, royalties! the royalty check is in, honey!" ... yes, billy the mountain was rich! yes,His eyeball caves, they widened in amazement... and his jaw, which was a cliff, well it ... it dropped thirty feet! a bunch of dust puffed out ... rocks and boulders hacked up, hack! hack! ... cNg the lincoln ...I gave him the moneyHe acted real funnyHe hacked up a rock andIt totaled my carOh do youKnow any trucksMight be bound for the valleyI dont wanna stand hereAll night in this bar( dear lord )I dont wanna stand hereAll night in this bar( no shit )I dont wanna stand hereAll night in this barBy two oclock, when bars had already closed down, billy had broken the big news to ethel, ahhhh, and with dust and boulders everywhere, billy, choked with exitement, announced: "ethel, weIng on a vacation!"... yes, and they were going on a vacation, oh, and ethel, ethel, ethel, like any little woman, she of course was very excited ... she creaked a little bit, and some oldFlew off of her. billy told ethel they were going to... yes, they where going to new york! "ethel, were going to... new york! but first they were gonna stop in las vegas..."its off to las vegas to check out the lounges,Pull a few handles and drink a few beers, oh ethel,Ethel, my darling, you know that I love you,Im glad we could have a vacation this year,Oh neat-o, glad we could have a vacation this year."They left that night, crunchin across the mojave desert, their voices echoing thru the canyons of your minds... "ethel, wanna get a cuppa cawfee? howard johnsons, ahhh theres a howard jos! ... wanna eat some clams? ...The first noteworhty piece of real estate they destroyed was edwards air force base. and to this very day, wing-nuts and data reduction clerks alike speak in reverent whispers about that fatefulT when test stand number one and the rocket sled itself got lunched, I said lunched, by a famous mountain and his small wooden wife ..."word just in to the kttv news service undeniably links this mountain and his wife to drug abuse and payoffs as part of san joaquin valley smut ring. however, we can assure parents in the sRn california area that a recent narcotic crackdown in torrence ... hawthorne ... lomita ... westchester ... playa del rey ... santa monica ... tujunga ... sunland ... san fernando ... pacoima .Lmar ... newhall ... canoga park ... palmdale ... glendale ... irwindale ... rolling hills ... granada hills ... shadow hills ... cheviot hills ... will provide the secret evidence the palmdaleJury has needed to seek a criminal indictement and pave the way for stiffer legislation, increased federal aid, and avert a crippling strike of bartenders and veterinarians throughout the inlanIre ..."Within the week, jerry lewis had hosted a telethon ( la la la nice lady ) to raise funds for the injured, "injured", and homeless, "homeless" in glendale, as billy had just lEd it. and a few miles right outside of town billy caused a oh mine/my(? ) papa in the earths crust, right over the secret underground dumps, right near the jack in the box on glenoaks where tEep the pools of old poison gas and obsolete germs bombs, just as a freak tornado cruised through ... yes, it was about three oclock in the afternoon when little howard kaplan was sitting on hiCh ( "toto...!") just playing ( "come here, toto ...!") and having a nice time with his little accordion, ("toto...!") and this weird wind came up, direct from glenBlowing those terrible germs in his direction ... and all this caused by huge mountain ("aunty em") somewhere over the rainbow, blue birds fly, sucking up two-thirds of it ( suck, sucCk) for an ultimetly dispersal over vast stretches of ... watts!!!Now, unless I misunderstood, it was right outside of columbus, ohio when billy received his notice to report for his induction physical. now lemme tell ya, ethel said, now ethel, ethel said sheT gonna let him go ... "im not gonna let you go, billy" ... thats right, we now have confirmed reports from an informed orange county minister that ethel is still an active communistIt is this reporters opinion that she also practices covent witch-craft ...It was about this time that the telephone rang inside of the secret briefcase belonging to one mortal man who might be able to stop all of this senseless destruction and save america herself. anSorry to disappoint some of you, it was not chief redden. this one man was studebacher hoch, fantastic new super hero of the current economic slump. now, some folks say he looked like zubin mehUbin mehta); still others say "bullshit, honey, it was just another greasy guy who happened to be born next to the frozen beef pies at boneys market..."; still others say "pshaw/(? ), and piss on you, jack, hes just a crazy iatlian who drove a red car ..." you see, nobody ever really knew for sure because studebacher was sooooo mysterious ....He was so ( he was so, he was so) mysteriousHe was so ( he was so, he was so) mysteriouscuz when a person gets to be such a hero, folksAnd marvelouse beyond computeYou can never really tell about a guy like thatWhether hes really a nice personOr if he just smiles a lotOr if he has a son named pinocchio or what.Whether hes really a nice personOr if he has a son named pinocchio or what.Some men say he could flySome men say he could swimOthers say he could sing like neil sedaka,And all the girls in flushing would be amazed of himTwo, three amazed of him ... amazed ...Time passed. january, february, march, july, wednesdey, august, irwindale, two-thirty in the afternoon, sunday, monday, funny cars, walnuts, city of industry, big john masamanian ... so when theE ring in the secret briefcase, a strong masculine hand with a dudley do-right wristwatch and flexy braclet grabbed it and answered in a deep, calmly assured voice: "so... ah... yeah, yeahAlready ... what? ... well, yeah? ... ah-are you kidding? ... youre not kidding ... a mountain ... with a tree growing off of its shoulder? aw, youre fulla shit, man... ah listen, by the way,Re you go on; did you get those white albums I sent ya with the pencil on the front, yeah? yeah, you should move some of those for me ... were having a lot of,...listen, so kiss little jakee onHead... and hows your wifes hemorrhoids? ...ah, thats too bad...listen...so youve got a mountain, with a tree, listen, causing...well, let me write this down... sorta take a few notes here......to el segundo, huh? ...causingUntold destruction..( my baby, my baby )...wanted for draft evasion? ... an expense account? ... and per diem, too? ..."Some men say he could danceThey said he could danceAnd of course they were right ...Ladies and gentelmen, this is it: the studebacher hoch dancing lesson & cosmic prayer for guidence, featuring aynsley dunbar! ... hit it! ...Twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, fillmore ...Hey, right hand from a heartLeft hand from a heartRight hand from a heartLeft hand from a left shoulderTo the heart. fillmore, fillmore ...Nobody can dance like studebacher hoch ...So many rumors have spread about studebacher hoch ... consider this rumor which was published about three weeks ago in rolling stone ( oh, its gotta be true! ) ... studebacher hoch can write thDs prayer on the head of a pin!" (no!) do-do-do do-do-doot doot do-do-do ... ... Im so hip ... beef pies ... he was born next to the beef pies, underneath joni mitchells autographed pictRight beside elliot roberts big bank book, next to the boat where crosby flushed away all his stash and the cops got him in the boat and drove away, to the can where neil young slipped another...[ frozen ? ? ? pieFrozen ? ? ? pieFrozen ? ? ? pieAnd that was the main influence on himThe influence of a frozen beef pie ]Boldly springing into action he phoned his wife who ran a modeling school, whereupon he... yes, he ran around the back of the broadway at hollywood boulevard and vine to see if he could find himSome big, large, unused cardboard boxes ( no shit! )... after which he hit up the ralphs on sunset for some aunt jemima syrup, some kaiser boiler foil and pair of blunt sissors, yeah! ... yes,N the parking lot of ralphs ... where no prices are lower prices than ralphs... in the parking lot of ralphs, in between a pair of customized trucks where nobody was looking, he cut out someY, really, really nice wings and he covered them thoroughly with foil ...Then he took those wings and wedged one under each of his powerful arms and sneaked into a telephone booth ..yes,yes!! and then he shut the fucking door! ... and he pulled down his blue denim poAn-type trouser pants, and he spread even amounts of aunt jemima maple syrup all over the inside of his legs! ... soon the booth was filling with flies ( help me! help me! help me! ) ... he heldThe legs of his boxer shorts so they could all get in, and when each and every one of those little cocksucking flies had gone into his pants and they were lapping up all that maple syrup, he beEr and he put his head between his legs and he said in a very clear, impressive, ron-hubbard-type voice: "new york"... and the booth and everything lifted up, out of parking lot, and iHe sky.Studebacher hochYeah, yeah,Studebacher hochStudebacher hochStudebacher hochYeah, yeah,Studebacher hochStudebacher hochHes coating his legsWith aunt jemima syrup up and downHis shorts will be filled with fliesThat will be buzzing all aroundStudebacher hoch is really outa sightStudebacher hoch, he does it every nightStudebacher hoch, he treats the flies all rightStudebacher hochThats why they never bite, hey!Hey please to new yorkFly to new yorkHe could be a dogOr a frogOr a lesbian queen(fly to new york)He could be a narcOr a lady marineOr he might play dirtyHes over thirtyGetting old ...I dont knowHis peculiar attireAnd the flies he requiresKeep leading him oncuz ethel is goneThey keep leading him oncuz ethel is goneAnd the mountain shes onAnd speaking of mountains - - well join studebacher hoch on the edge of billy the mountains mouth .. take it away! ..."ah ... ya, ya, ya, hey-ah, billy, listen ... Ive come to reason with you ... our great country needs you in the armed forces ... your number came up ... ya cant go on running like this fR ..."Ah, but ethel just shook her twigs angrily. but studebacher hoch, calm, cool, collected and unperturbed, continued:"ya, well listen ... listen you communist sonofabitch ... you better get your ass down there for your fuckin physical or Ill see to it that you get used for fill dirt in some impending neSey marsh reclamation ... and your girlfiend there will wind up disguised as series of brooms, primative ironing boards or a dog house ... get the ( cough, cough) get the picture? "Ya, well billy just laughed:"ha, ha, ha. if they think theyre gonna draft me, theyre crazy."Unfortunately, because studebacher hoch was standing on the edge of billy the mountains mouth when the giant mountain laughed ... studebacher hoch lost his footing and fell screaming, two hundrEt into the rubble below ... ( "aaahhhhh, oh fuck, Im gonna need a truss ...")Ah listen, that only goes to show youAnd itl show you once again thatA mountain is something you dont wanna fuck withYou dont wanna fuck withDont fuck aroundDont fuck aroundDont fuck with billy, noAnd dont fuck with ethelYou saw what just happenedTo the guy with the fliesDont fuck aroundDont fuck aroundDont fuck aroundDont fuck aroundDont fuck aroundDont fuck aroundDont fuck aroundWith biddilly, biddillyBiddilly the mountainEddie, are you kidding? Eddie, are you kidding? Oh I forgot to mention this is where we take our intermission.We will see you in a few minutesThank you, well be back.