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Sandler Adam

The Hypnotist

404 3 часа назад

Текст песни Sandler Adam - The Hypnotist

Sandler Adam - The Hypnotist слова песни




[typing sounds]Dr. Stewart: Hi, [I`m] Dr. Stewart.Gary Phelps: Hi, Dr. Stewart. Nice to meet you -- I`m Gary Phelps.Dr. Stewart: My pleasure. Gary, have you ever been hypnotized before?Gary Phelps: No, I haven`t. I`m actually quite nervous, but I just, uh,I --Dr. Stewart: All right, and you were referred to me by anyone...?Gary Phelps: To be honest with you, I saw your name in the Yellow Pages,and It said you`re good at this stuff, so I just, I gotta give it ashot, just kick this whole cigarette thing...Dr. Stewart: So smoking is your problem?Gary Phelps: Yeah, I can`t stop smoking and it`s -- it`s finally, like,affecting everything I do, I can`t run, I can`t play basketball and allthat stuff like that, so I, I gotta give it up.Dr. Stewart: How long have you smoked, Gary?Gary Phelps: Uh, I started when I was eleven years old, and I just can`tkick it, you know?Dr. Stewart: Yeah, right. [small, barely noticeable fart] All right,Gary, why don`t you just have a seat here and sit down and just relax --what I do is hypnosis.Gary Phelps: Right.Dr. Stewart: Basically I just want you to sit back and relax -- letyourself sit back and relax and sink into the chair, and , um, just feelcomfortable and trust me.[bigger fart]Gary Phelps: [noticing fart sound] Uh...Dr. Stewart: That`s it.Gary Phelps: O-kay....Dr. Stewart: That`s it.Gary Phelps: That was...o-kay...Dr. Stewart: All right? Okay. Gary, I want you to close your eyes, and Ijust want you to again relax and try to concentrate on nothing. Okay?That`s it. Now I`m gonna count backwards from five to zero --Gary Phelps: Right.Dr. Stewart: -- and I just want you to relax, and you`re going to fallinto a deep state of mind -- of subconsciousness -- you`re verycomfortable, I`ll be counting back from five, I just want youto relax, and just think of nothing.[three farts in succession]Gary Phelps: Are you gonna keep doing that, or...?Dr. Stewart: Hmm? Just concentrate now. That`s it. Close your eyes. Keepyour eyes closed. Okay. Now. We`re very comfortable. Five [small fart],we`re thinking of nothing except being comfortable and nothing`sbothering us. Okay. When I say the word "relax," listen to me, you`resinking, you`re sinking, [medium fart]Gary Phelps: Oh my god...that was, uh....are you gonna keep doing that?Dr. Stewart: Please just try to relax; that wasn`t me. Okay. You`re verystressed -- you`re very stressed. Okay, four, we`re relaxing, we`rerelaxing, you`re very comfortable, you`re very, very soothed. Okay.Four, three...[fart]Gary Phelps: Oh my dear god, sir...uh, I can`t...Dr. Stewart: That was the couch. I know it sounded like -- it`s -- thevinyl -- it`s a new couch -- please, just try and concentrate. Okay. Andwe`re very sleepy, we`re relaxed, thinking nothing bothers us, nothingbothers us -- [several farts]Gary Phelps: Uh, um, all right, could you open a window, maybe? I`m justhaving a tough time concentrating --Dr. Stewart: Hmm? Here we go -- there, there, we`re relaxing, we`rerelaxing [fart and cough together] three, two, two --Gary Phelps: I was just going to ask you if you could maybe stop doingthat. I can`t concentrate when you`re doing that.Dr. Stewart: This is what I do. It`s a counting-down thing. We`rerelaxing now. Just relax -- let it go, don`t focus on anything else,just concentrate on what we`re doing here. Three, two, relax, relax,that`s it, just relax [fart], we`re relaxing now --Gary Phelps: Okay -- you`re gonna -- that one was -- it`s getting alittle irritating --Dr. Stewart: Hang on just a second here. Let me just step out a secondhere.Gary Phelps: That`d be good.Dr. Stewart: All right, and we`re relaxing, as I leave, we`re relaxing,still relaxing,[fart in the distance]Gary Phelps: Jesus...Oh my God.Dr. Stewart: We`re relaxing.Gary Phelps: [trying hard not to laugh]Dr. Stewart: Okay, I`m back, we`re relaxing, and we`re counting down,we`re to two, and all we`re thinking about is healthy, fresh air.Freshness. Breathing in. Breathing in deep, lettingout. [fart]Gary Phelps: Sir, I`d appreciate if you could stop `letting it out`. Butokay, okay, fine, thank you.Dr. Stewart: That`s it, you`re all right, everything`s good. All right,you feel very comfortable, you`re sinking into the chair, we`rerelaxing, one [long fart], and we`re coming down to zeroand --Gary Phelps: Oh my god, uh...yes, all right, it was nothing...Dr. Stewart: No, no, that time that was you.Gary Phelps: That wasn`t me!Dr. Stewart: We`re not here to pick sides, we`re not here to pick sides,that was you, and maybe we could deal with this in another session, butright now we`re dealing with the smoking, and, um, let`s not worry aboutanything else that`s going down --Gary Phelps: OK, I`ve just gotta kick this habit.Dr. Stewart: Down to zero, relaxing, we`re going to feel very fresh[fart], we`re going to feel very healthy [fart], and let`s take a nice,deep breath --Gary Phelps: I can`t breathe, sir, uh, I`m sorry, I just -- ["squirty"fart]Gary Phelps: Oh my god -- what did you eat? It smells like baby food --Dr. Stewart: All right, we`re relaxing -- that one probably squirted outa little into the pants, but we`ll just continue with thte floating[fart] -- yeah, that was definitely a squirt -- but here we go, one,zero, we are under. Are you relaxed?Gary Phelps: Yeah, I`m under, I guess.Dr. Stewart: Here we go, relaxing, relaxing. You`re under a deep trance,you will not smoke anymore, you will just feel healthy from now on, andyou`ll be breathing in nothing but fresh air, and you will not smellanything in this room, it wasn`t me, it wasn`t me farting [fart] -- thatwas not me --Gary Phelps: [hysterically laughing under his breath] You`re gonna haveto stop doing that, sir. It`s just very hard for me to listen to youwhen you`re --Dr. Stewart: You`re floating now, you`re high above, you`re lookingdown, nothing but fresh pastures and fields, and here we go [long fart]Gary Phelps: Oh man...Dr. Stewart: -- that was you,Gary Phelps: That was not me, sir! I`m watching you!Dr. Stewart: That was you, and when you wake up, you will not rememberany of this, except that it was you, or my receptionist, don`t worry,she gets it all the time. All right -- you smell nothing; I`m perfectlyclean. I have no bad gas; it was all from outside or from -- from -- youyourself. And let`s not forget the smoking thing that`s why you`re here.No smoking. Repeat after me: I am a smelly pig.Gary Phelps: What?Dr. Stewart: All right, we`re moving along, and we;`re relaxed. [fart]All right, and now we`re going to count back up, up one to five,Gary Phelps: OK, you know, I think this is fine, I don`t want tosmoke...Dr. Stewart: Gary, settle down, relax, and when I get to five, you willsnap out of this, and you won`t remember this, especially the smell, thesmell was from you. All right? And here we go. Zero, we`re coming out ofit, you`re waking up slowly, your eyes are opening, one, you`re feelinggood, and when you wake up, you`ll feel wide awake and perfect you`llfeel whole and [fart] all-righty, I ripped that one out there and Iapologize. I ripped a good one there. That was a nice out..Gary Phelps: That was not nice.Dr. Stewart: Here we go, and, we`re coming right [fart]Gary Phelps: What was that?Dr. Stewart: That was three.Gary Phelps: It didn`t sound like three.Dr. Stewart: three, I`m counting, and four, it`s no smell in here, andyou don`t smoke, you don`t want a cigarette, no, and here we go [fart]five, and -- [snap] Do you want a cigarette?Gary Phelps: No I don`t.Dr. Stewart: Then my job is done.Gary Phelps: [bursts into laughter]Dr. Stewart: [fart] Please leave the door open as you leave. [fart]Gary Phelps: OK, thank you, Doctor.

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